The Adventure Continues or Oprah’s Loss, Ellen’s Gain?

27 Aug

When I was younger, I used to sit around waiting for a call from a guy, now I sit and wait for a call from Oprah. As was usually the case with the guy, she never called. While I still hold out hope that she will come to her senses, I’m moving on. Oprah  is like a bad boyfriend.

My plan for this blog was to record my OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network, in case you’ve forgotten) adventure of going through the process until my show premiered, and beyond. Hhhhmmm. You may have noticed that I stopped writing. Well, I’ve recently received some E-mails from folks saying they enjoyed reading the blog and asking how to subscribe. So, in the interest of giving the people what they want, I am continuing the blog. And besides, this is still my own adventure.

My latest adventure? “Oprah’s Loss, Ellen’s Gain?”

As I try to get over Oprah’s rejection of my fantastic show idea and my sparkling personality (not to mention my incredible modesty), I decided that Oprah isn’t the only game in town. And while Ellen DeGeneres might not have her own network, the lady has some power. So now I’ve written Ellen. I’m not asking for my own show (note the lower case own), just a gig – uh, I’m not sure I can get away with gig – let’s just say spot. 

Dear Ellen –

 My name is Carole and, I’m sorry to break the news but, well, Oprah has seriously lost her mind! Hhhmmmm, I’ve been rejected by Oprah. Well, not quite rejected, she must have just lost my number (that’s what I used to tell myself about the phone call from the guy who said he’d call). Anyway, Oprah’s loss is your gain! I am now available to work with you on the Ellen Show.

 I would hate for you to think that you’re my second choice. Not true! That would be Craig Ferguson, but I’m not sure I could stay up that late. Kidding. Really. Oprah advertised for the position. That’s why she was my first choice. But, as I’ve noticed from searching the want ads, most people don’t get  jobs through advertisements, they get them through networking. The problem? You and I don’t know the same people (do you know Susan, the lady who owns the restaurant down the street from me?). Yeh, that’s what I thought.

So now I’m cold calling. Please peek at my Oprah audition (it was still on the OWN site last I checked) and substitute the name Ellen every time I use the word Oprah or Oprah Winfrey Network. And, since I’m looking for a segment from you instead of a show, tell me what you want. Really, I can do anything. Want me to jump out of an airplane? No problem – been there, done that. Bobsled? Yup. Dogsled? In Alaska. Ultralight? Let’s fly!

Or, since I really do hate looking at myself on camera – (Is there such a thing as the opposite of body dismorphic syndrome? I think my body looks better than it actually does), how about I write for you?  

Anyway, I’ll be waiting by the phone for your call – old habits die hard. Maybe you’ll call. Or maybe that guy I met when I was 23 who said he’d call will finally find my phone number.

Can’t wait to hear from you.

Your new reporter from the street (or the sky, or the water),

Carole

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3 Responses to “The Adventure Continues or Oprah’s Loss, Ellen’s Gain?”

  1. Brenda Robertson October 10, 2011 at 10:31 AM #

    Loved this one! It made me giggle a lot.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. My Schizophrenic Life « My Own Adventure - September 30, 2010

    […] Job Description – Read the Oprah/Ellen post. […]

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