The Ten Commandments of Camping

22 Jul

I am a Traveler, as are many of my friends. One thing we all agree on is that when people ask us what we do on vacation our answer is usually the same – sleep. There are few things better than sleeping in your own bed after months away. Well, I’ve done that for about a month now. And while I’ve enjoyed every minute, it’s time to get back to nature.

You see, although I work on a ship, I spend the majority of my day inside. Much of it in an office with no windows. In fact, I have spent a week on board without ever going outdoors. A big difference from my former career as an Adventure Tour Guide where I camped for six months at a time. This weekend I will escape the Phoenix heat and head up to the cooler temperatures to camp at the Grand Canyon.

Before I leave I have decided to be environmentally friendly and recycle an old piece from a tourism column I used to write. So, with permission from, well, me – here it is:

Many people would like to try camping yet, if they have never gone before, the idea can be intimidating. After all, if you are lucky enough to have a home, why rough it? Aaaahhh. . . for the experience.

As a Camping and Adventure Tour Guide I tried to impart my love of camping onto many a “newbie.” After all, anybody who has camped was a “newbie” at one time. In fact, before becoming a guide, I had camped for a total of two nights, not consecutively. Thanks to wonderful training by my company it was love at first night. From then on, I wanted to impart my love for camping to others. Dirt? Good. Smokey smell? Good. Bugs? Hey, it’s their house.

I have had campers say to me, “I don’t like the outdoors. I just took this trip for the price.” I considered this a challenge. I knew their camping experience had to be great for them to realize that maybe there are other reasons to camp besides the price. After three weeks of tent living, one of these campers came to me looking to plan her next camping trip. Mission accomplished.

Camping need not be intimidating and, in fact, can be quite a wonderful experience. Just follow the Ten Commandments of Camping and you may find yourself scheduling weekend escapes or week long trips throughout the year.

Ten Commandments of Camping 

1} Thou shalt not sleep well on the first night; this is why God created Ambien.

2} If thou must watch television, thou art not a camper.

3} Thou shalt not feedest the wildlife. Although we are all God’s children, they are called wildlife for a reason.

4} Mother Nature cannot be controlled, for few women can be.

5} And God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. . . and noise. Thou shan’t complain if thou has neglected to bring thy sleep mask and earplugs.

6} Looketh thee up, turneth thine eyes towards the skies.

7} Wherever thou art sitting, there shall goest the campfire smoke.

8} The sounds that you hear are elk bugling, coyotes howling and birds chirping. Sit thee back and enjoy their music, for God loves all creatures great and small.

9} Once thou hast tasted the wine and beer, do not believest that thou can walketh on water, fire or glass. For although sleeping outdoors might maketh thee feel closer to God, thou art still a mere mortal.

10} Taketh thee only photos, leaveth thee only footprints.


2 Responses to “The Ten Commandments of Camping”

  1. Norberto Ilalio August 15, 2011 at 6:41 AM #

    This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your great post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

  2. Carole B. Rosenblat August 21, 2011 at 10:52 PM #

    Thanks for reading, commenting and sharing. Writing is difficult when I’m on the ship but I will try to do it with some regularity. I’ll certainly have things to say during my next vacation.

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